Let’s start out with an update. I have not posted in the past two months due to an extremely busy schedule and I didn’t think I had anything to say. Well I am still super busy, but have a lot more to say!
I just returned from training camp and meeting my entire squad and falling in love with them all! I have grown and changed over the past week and have much farther to go! While there were people healing, prophesying and people speaking in tongues all around me, I learned to hear God in “the whisper…”
It started out with Chuck Morris and I driving around Atlanta and seeing a sign from God!
On this building we see 11:11 How awesome is that?!?
The next day we head to camp, Sean is doing a great job MCing, Carl and the band are leading some awesome worship and I am still comfortable. The speakers all week were great and Ron helped me look deeper into myself, and see that I have been playing my faith for years… and in this I am broken!
So between showering twice in one week, eating crazy food, meeting the people I will be spending the next year with, and trying to learn as much as I can about what my next year will look like, God finds me!
There had been a lot of talk about having an overwhelming experience with God and the Spirit, yet I wasn’t feeling much. I felt like I wasn’t doing something right until one of the last days (the days started to mesh together by day 2). The speaker said that you may not have had your Ah Ha moment with God, but you may have been hearing him in “the whisper.”
Too often we look for God in the crash of lightning, knock your socks off, punch in the face kind of way, that we forget that God can be just as powerful in a whisper as a scream!
I feel that in my past I have been desensitized to love. It was always all around me, but between being let down by fake love and pretending that real love wasn’t true, I shut myself down from it. Then introduce the problems from my past and you have this crazy cocktail of dysfunction! Then this verse spoke to me..
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
In this verse I found that even though I sin and even though I am not worthy of Christ’s Love he still died for me, and in return I want.. no, need to love Him! Even though I am a sinner and am not worthy of God’s love at all he still sent his son to die for me as a payment for my sins! This is the ultimate example of God’s great love for us and it is something you hear over and over again in Church but until you come to terms with it and accept it they will be just words.
When I heard this a light went off and I was like “I have been hearing God in the whisper all week and it was just as powerful and meaningful as the screams other people were getting!” In this whisper I heard over and over again “Love Me First!” I feel that in these three simple words God was calling me to stop searching for love and acceptance in other places and to just Love Him and by doing so bring my relationship with him to the next level!
That should be enough for now! I have about six more blogs I want to write with updates, stories, and more from camp, so be on the look out