God is so Amazing!
That pretty much sums up the last week of my life. God has rained down more blessings on me in the past week than I think he has ever done before.
As most of you probably know, our route has changed a little bit. We are no longer going to Russia this month but we are going to Moldova. This is not the only major change going on this month. Most of you don’t know but I have been asked to take a sabbatical from leadership this month. Those in leadership above me have seen me wearing down and want me to take some time for myself and be able to work on some issues going on in my life and then step back into leadership when the time is right.
The last piece of news was one of the first things I was confronted with upon arriving at debrief. It was a pride issue that God has been working on in me for the past several years and is still working on in me. I was not ready to step down from leadership. I still feel like God has leadership qualities that he wants to work out in me. However I have come to accept that God is going to do big things in my life over this period of rest and I need to embrace it so I can fully step into my Identity in Him!
As I came to accept not being a leader and Katy Westrom stepping into leadership I have noticed how God works. I have heard this saying over and over throughout my life but never really understood it until this week. The phrase is “God does not always make you what you want to be, however he often gives you the opportunities to display the characteristics of what you want to be.” In that I mean I have been praying for humility for a while now and God has given me a huge opportunity to lay my pride aside and step down for a little while; I just hope God continues to give me the strength to walk in this and allow Him to shine through.
Upon getting this news God called me to fast and seek His will in what was going on in my life. As I did this I went two and a half days without the desire to eat, and with the constant desire to be in communion with God and I believe he has spoken to me more in those two days and this past week than in my entire life. It wasn’t until I was able to talk with my brother in Christ Caleb Durham and unload some of my baggage that I was starting to feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. He encouraged me to share some of the things we talked with that night at Worship and through that act of boldness God poured out his Spirit on me in a way I had never known.
That night when I got up on this “Freedom Chair” and shared some struggles and some victories in my life I felt a freedom that I don’t think I have ever experienced in my life! Not only did I have a freedom, but God poured out so much Joy that it was just spilling out onto everyone I came in contact with. Not only did he pour out joy but he poured out tongues, prophecy and gifts I don’t even fully understand at this point. It was amazing and I was not the only one being set free. It seemed like everyone was giving things up and allowing God to move in their life in new ways.
On the last night we were sitting by the fire and God called me to be bold again. This was one of the many ways God spoke to me this week and he told me that we needed to build an altar. In the Old Testament when God did something significant in someone’s life, they would build an altar as a physical representation and reminder of God’s awesome power. So as we were all around the fire I shared this word with the group and said that “if God has stirred something in you over the past week then go out in the dark, find a stone and place it on the altar. It was amazing to see it when it was done and to see how many people God was reaching down and touching over the week.
I know this is a big step in my life and there is no looking back. I need to walk in my identity as a child of the Most High God and continue to walk in freedom and in the power and authority that comes with being a child of God!
I just wanted to share this last picture of affirmation of a vision God showed me during Bible Study one day. He showed me a vision of a sword that was bent out of shape and this big blacksmith with a huge hammer and it was just pounding the dents out of the sword until it was perfect! Then I looked down and saw this on the bench next to me!!!
I feel like through this God was saying that during this time he is going to pound the dents out of me and perfect me until I can be a tool that can be used for His glory and his work!